So Chuck and I wrote each other all of the lyrics to "Swing Life Away", line for line, recently. Like, texted one line to each other until the whole thing was finished.

The next 48-72 hours will be very hectic... and I'm super-happy and excited for a multitude of reasons.

Tonight was hellish, but all now is exciting and sparkly until work until it sucks until it's exciting and sparkly again until work until it's exciting and sparkly for the whole weekend with Danielle thrown in. And I found a disposable camera in my stuff while packing that I'm going to finish this weekend.

Done now.

Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words.

Life has been super-hectic lately, but here's the main stuff...

My friends are great, and I've been getting an amazing amount of social time. Yesterday was Malia, Mike, Pancake, Tim and Mary, besides a split shift. Today was Mike, Katie, Couch, Tim and Mary with guest appearances by Malia and Scott.

Also of note: wonderful guy helped me pack up EVERYTHING! Not looking forward to the move next weekend, but with lots of friends and beer and pizza, I'm hoping it will go fairly painlessly.

Work is still work, I'm applying for jobs and not really hearing anything back, which sucks.

And that's about it.

Good things in life right now:

packing all done
super excited to live with roomies
got a beautiful bouquet last week
had a crazy informal get-together that got pretty big and had a blast with when Danielle visited
Hunter game is fun, though we need another player or two
got to see fireworks on the 5th of July because they were canceled the fourth
finally made it to the Farmer's Market and got awesome honeycomb and goat cheese
pretty addicted to Ida Maria AND have tickets to Pygmalion

Life is going pretty well. I haven't written in a while...

Went to Chuck's sister's wedding. It was fine/kinda boring. It was the first time in a while that I've been to a wedding that wasn't by choice, if you know what I mean. I mean, I chose to go with Chuck but it wasn't anyone's wedding that I cared about, which makes it a much different feel. None of the inside jokes apply, nothing is particularly poignant. It's interesting to watch. She and her (now) husband seem pretty happy, so go them. I really liked Chuck's brother and sister-in-law, they were pretty funny/nifty and we got along pretty well, so I look forward to seeing them in the future.

Game's been going really well. I have this GREAT setup for the next character, but it requires other folks to be a part, and right now we're all playing characters we're enjoying so no big rush, I hope.

I have a terrible sunburn on one side of my body :( Sucks. Particularly as it's JUST in time for Jaime and Josh's wedding. Sigh. I don't wear a dress very often, and now I get to look like a half-lobster just in time. Oh well.

Chuck and I have been having a movie night with friends on Sunday nights recently. It's been a lot of fun. Yesterday was Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, which I had never seen before. The week before that was Seven Brides For Seven Brothers, which I used to love and is slowly losing its charm.

Work still sucks. *shrug*

Going to miss Emily terribly. Wish she wasn't moving away but I'm happy for her. Looking forward to moving into the new place.

Tired of growing up.

I am chilling at Espresso, waiting to have to go back to work (15 minutes, sigh) and listening to Bad Religion.

"I finally get them," I texted Chuck triumphantly. In my case, I just have to be alone and in a decently bad mood about the world, and voila, the lyrics suddenly become clear and the absolutely UNmelodic voice works.

It was 21st Century (Digital Boy) that did it.


Anyway, life is life. I'm grumpy at the present, because work is sucking. Poor co-worker (other assistant manager) is working on his day off because a guy called off, AND, he might be stuck working tomorrow too. A guy called off today, so he's filling in because we needed someone, and I offered to do a split tomorrow but he seems to be willing to work the extra day. I dunno why but *shrug* he's just wanting to be miserable currently, I think, which I can empathize with... sometimes you just kinda want the world to kick you while you're down so you can be like, "See?" and gesture triumphantly to onlookers.

Hmm. I was going to write more, but here's the highlights...

Chuck's sister's wedding this weekend. Super-not excited about it and kinda gloomy.
Trivia haven't been able to make for two weeks now. Should be there next Tuesday.
Tired of my job, but glad to have one.
Looking forward to Star Trek tomorrow night, but damn, it's going to kill my sleep schedule (or lack of one.)


I'm off to get some source of sugar and/or caffeine for my long shift tonight.

And when the farm is good and bought, you'll be there without a thought,
And eternity, my friend, is a long fucking time.
Because there's no time for fussing and fighting my friend,
But baby I'm amazed at the hate that you can send and
You... painted my entire world.
But I... don't have the turpentine to clean what you have soiled.
And I won't forget it.

EDIT:

Lol, I forgot to mention key stuff.

a) Bollywood night on Sunday went really well. About 6 people, which was actually a bit more than I was expecting, but amount of food worked out perfectly. I sadly picked my one Sunday off, which involved the Amasong concert, so I missed out on inviting a few people that I otherwise would have liked to (sorry), but it went well and I'm sure I'll have another in the near-future.

b) Game is going really well.

c) Goth prom was fantastic. I was a total dork, but I was surrounded by tons of friends, there were fun pictures and there was great music. So much better than I was expecting... I'm really glad I got myself to go.

d) Boy is busy next Saturday, so if I'm off that night, would anyone be around to hang out on the 16th? I was thinking Esquire chilling or something.

Man, livejournal really is dying off. I barely see any posts by people anymore.

However, since I miss seeing others writing, I might as well try to set an example (as boring as it may be...)

Life is going pretty nicely. I'm currently sitting in the sun in a comfortable chair at my favorite coffee shop, sipping a soy latte (which has replaced the cafe au lait as my favorite warm drink of choice, I believe...) and just finished a great book (Too Many Curses by A. Martinez, if anyone was interested.)

Tomorrow, I'm off work and hoping to make it to Allerton. I think it should be awfully pretty right now, and as of yet I've been there twice. Once during winter (not too special) and once during fall (nice but not very flowering.) Tomorrow though, I have hopes. In mind= picnic.

I'm still working as a manager at a pizza place. Whee.

I've made it to the gym once this week (Tuesday) and hopefully tomorrow and Saturday.

I cooked food Sunday, didn't eat out Monday (though didn't cook), had Boltini's last night with Malaika, Eric, Emily, Shaun and Amie, and had Basil Thai today with Jen, but hopefully that'll be the extent of eating out. I'm tossing around the idea of sushi tomorrow night, but I think I might prefer trying to cook.

Sunday I'm going to be hanging out with Jenna and Zack, and that should be fun. I'm really looking forward to living with them and Amy. I keep meaning to check out garage sales but really haven't done it with much enthusiasm. First off, I can't really afford it right now, and second, we're going to have SO much stuff.

I enjoyed seeing/hanging out with Shaun yesterday night. It was great to reconnect with him. There are a lot of people I need to do that with... It's just hard, you know? You work 45-50 hours a week, you spend time with people who invite you out, you try to make time for people, and besides all that, there's errands and family and stuff you *have* to do... not super easy.

Tonight I'm going out with Shaun (I think) and hopefully that'll be fun. If anyone else wants to join crazy karaoke time, just call. It won't start until about 10:45 (or whenever my job is all closed up.)

Hmmmm, dunno what else really to say. I'm surrounded by sweet, loving people who can also be obnoxious and annoying in only the way that friends as close as family can be.

I promised my parents I'd visit them in the next few weeks. I'm looking forward to my day off tomorrow and LARP on Friday.

Same old thing while still being pretty nice.

I'm back to reading new things/listening to music and hearing it, so I suppose my depressive areas are calming down again. In other upbeat news- I made it to the gyno today, so equipped with some new prescriptions of which the most important is IMATREX!!!! I've been out and haven't made the time to get to a general doctor yet for that prescription, and when I mentioned that off-hand to the gyno, he wrote me one. I'm super excited about this, as migraines never bother me until they do, you know?

Anyway, I might as well do a quick "things that are making me happy" list again.

1) my friends (in particular of note: the trivia group is great to see on Tuesdays (even if yesterday sucked), having coffee with Charles was nice, grabbing a beer with Jen and Eric last week was great, and seeing Jenna and Zack on Sunday should be great, as well as LARPing with folks on Friday.)
2) day with Chuck tomorrow should be a lot of fun. He continues to be sweet and wonderful in ways I don't even expect (for example, text at 1 AM last night of "HUNGRY" got back a "want a grilled cheese?" in less than a minute. Awesomeness.)
3) weird adventures, such as the karaoke following the normal trivia night, with new friends made (and probably soon weird facebook photos up detailing it...)
4) Sorrow by Bad Religion and Girltalk for the win last saturday night.
5) my brother. I haven't seen him in a bit, but I love the kid and I'm looking forward to when we both have free time again. It's nice not having any argument between us and to see that he's keeping his head on straight in regards to finances, working out and doing his schoolwork, even if I feel neglected by it at times.

That'll do for now.

On list of things to do:
1) continuing to work out 2-3 times a week
2) eating out less/cooking more (thus, spending less)
3) fly a kite
4) picnic at Allerton
5) have a Bollywood/Indian food night in the nearish future, before Emily leaves :)

Am I still your charm or am I just bad luck?
Are we getting closer or are we just getting more lost?

I'll show you mine if you show me yours first.
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse.
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words.

I don't know if I particularly wrote about it, but I saw Rise Against a few months ago for Chuck's birthday (back in November). I didn't realize they did songs like this one until the night of the concert, but it was fantastic to hear them slow the set down and play this song, which just blows me away everytime I hear it.

I'm in that dreaming mood again, where I'm sitting in a cafe and thinking and listening to lyrics too closely.

We live on front porches and swing life away.
We get by just fine here on minimum wage.
If love is a labor, I'll slave till the end.
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand.

I've been making random acquaintances lately, and I'm realizing that I've been holding myself back from things that maybe I shouldn't. I need to go out more, regardless of if I have a partner in crime or not... and I need to force myself to get things done instead of watch the time pass me by. It's getting to be a rut of a life again, and that's not good enough anymore.

Ignoring bills and events and invitations only works so long.

I've been here so long, I think that it's time to move.
The winter's so cold, summer's over too soon.
Let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow.

I've been apathetic too long, I really need to start making plans about the future. At the very least, I need to start planning for weeks ahead of time instead of days.

I've been having a lot of mini-epiphanies lately. At the very least, realizing that what's clear to me isn't clear to everyone else.

I know it's lame, but I'll say it again. You never have to do anything.

You never have to do anything.

You don't need to be trapped in a relationship, where the person treats you badly. No investment of time or effort is worth that. When a girl I like told me that, I just wanted to shake her.

You don't have to be in a situation with family that you don't want to. If they love you unconditionally, then stop trying to meet all their conditions. If they love you conditionally, they don't love you.

My parents love me and I love them. I don't often like them, and currently, they probably don't like me too much. I'll give them respect and efforts at keeping in touch, and when they don't repay that, we'll take a break until the reboot can happen. Don't let your parents treat you like crap. Give them the respect that they give you, and if they're nonstop negative, realize that and give yourself some time (and give them some time.)

I've got some friends, some that I hardly know,
But we've had some times, I wouldn't trade for the world.
We chase these days down with talks of places that we will go.

We live on front porches and swing life away...

I want more nights of talking and chilling and feeling that intimate conversational feeling that only comes with people who just don't care anymore about the silliness of conventions.

This Sunday, I'm going to try to have that feeling of community that keeps getting alluded to. I need to keep doing this.

Lately, I feel like I've been sacrificing for rituals I don't believe in anymore, and I'm done with that.

Here's to trying harder.

So I'm off for the next two days, and want to be out and about and doing stuff.

If people are available, you should definitely call or text me :)

Adventures might involve:

driving to Allerton
mucho caffeine (who am I kidding? Tons of caffeine...)
trivia night at Boltini's
mucho hanging out stuffs
random vegetarian/vegan cookings (I'm going back for April...)
working out at the FC


of the past few days:
hanging out with friends at Seven Saints was surprisingly awesome
Snickers and Milky Way wraps= gross
Real Hacienda now= Guadalara's? What's up with that?

Work is eating up my LIFE. Argh.

( babble babble babble )

So much to do, so little time. For now, happy things of the day: new friends and yummy caffeine and nerdy movies.

So this week has been pretty tragic for some people. I am not superstitious at all, but you know that "things come in 3?" silliness?

Well, this week, it would be tragic things for good people. The most minor (?!) was my best friend's car accident, breaking her clavicle and totalling her car. Besides the fact that it sucks, I also don't get to see her tonight, which sucks really bad.

Then my first grade teacher's husband ran over their daughter, killing her. Yeah, 2 year old daughter wandered out of house behind car. Husband backed over her. Now they have no child.

Yesterday night at work, I'm having my break food when a driver comes up to say, "Hey, Christy just got a phone call and turned pale. You probably have drama to deal with." I get up, go to the front counter where my server is sobbing. Her house (which she just moved everything back into 3 days ago from a bad roommate situation here on campus) just burned down, destroying everything.

So... yeah. Dunno why I had to post it, but it's been kinda eeks. I'm going to ignore the fact that I hate superstitions and make it something new. Now, everytime there's three horrible tragic things, there has to be three corresponding awesome things. I'm looking forward to seeing what the universe has in store... hopefully starting tonight.

It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want - oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so! ~Mark Twain

Oh... I want it so.

Life rocking out, yet again. I posted earlier about the necklace I was getting from Bethany. I ended up buying three different ones instead of that one, and got Emily some earrings. Man, that girl is so frickin' talented! I am so jealous of my talented friends. Anyway, one of the necklaces makes me think nonstop of spring... I love wearing it. Probably will be wearing it at the party on Saturday.

Speaking of my talented friends and the party on Saturday... Danielle got into a car accident and broke her clavicle. A) Dammit, why do the people I love break such weird bones? Danielle and Chuck can commiserate, anyway. B) Not only is there the bone pain, but there's also the car totaled, so she won't be here Saturday. Now no her OR L. Sucks sucks sucks. I have to figure out some weekend I can go visit them. With the two weddings in May (one I'm definitely going to, one I'm apathetic towards but might go to keep Chuck company), I have no idea if I could get a weekend off. Argh.

I keep thinking about her and Lindsay, since it's Spring, and that was where the three of us (four of us?) would be all giddy and buying each other flowers and such. It was cute, actually... C got me a bouquet yesterday of yellow, green and blue daisies! They already colored the water blue, which I found pretty amusing, but they're very cheerful and fun. Good followup to the AMAZING irises he bought me two weeks ago (and stored in a chickory coffee can his parents had gotten me for Christmas.)

Maybe I could make a Spring package and send it to them... sigh, just miss my amigas so much. I have so many cool and awesome friends around here, but there's something about long-term, far away friends that just feels like home.

Actually, I got a fb message from some high school friends recently. I should probably reply to them soon. Also, from some relatives that I like. I should reply to them soon as well. Argh.

Anyway... life has been pretty awesome. Got to hang out with lots of awesome people lately. Yesterday morning was Charles, yesterday afternoon was Dana, then Nick, then a fun evening just chilling. I made some spanakopita and helped get the basement cleaned for the party and we watched Zack and Miri Make a Porno, which was a lot dirtier than I was expecting (but was pretty good.)

Today= hanging out with Chuck and Mike, doing the run for party supplies, then work work working... and BTW- totally off on a Friday until 3. I CAN MAKE COFFEE WITH PEOPLE! This is so cool. Now they'll probably cancel coffee on Friday...

Malaika was talking recently about what a dead forum lj has become... and I can't disagree, particularly as I post about a tenth of what I used to, but the transition to facebook hasn't been too bad. I hate the new look though.

( a morning in the life of Beth, aka, why Chuck sucks. )

First off- plug for those not yet invited via facebook... party at Chuck's on the 21st. You should come. Email me at edillman@gmail.com for details if you don't already have them. Large assortment of very cool people, lots of random, lots of people who don't know anyone and get to meet new folks, and always, random weird drinks and goings on. My Danielle is even coming, though sadly, my Lindsay is not :( I need to arrange something with those two at some point in the next few months...

Second, trivia at Boltini's = a blast. So much fun had with Emily and the gang. Sadly, I might not be able to make it next week (argh!) but I hope to make it weekly after that... because it was so much fun.

Third, OMG I MISSED DAN SAVAGE AT THE UNIVERSITY AND I WANT TO CRY. I was so devastated when I found out that Monday, a day that I normally work but actually for once had off, Dan Savage was speaking for free at the University and I totally missed it. ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH.

So sad.

Fourth, Emily's bday was yesterday, and I had so much fun with her. We went to Texas Roadhouse and had way too much food, then Boltini's where we played trivia and had a lot of fun with assorted folks. Now I'm just looking forward to her djing on the 21st at Chuck's party AND THEN the 22nd at Boltini's. Yippee.

Fifth, that's about it. Now to call the parents and get my tax return done. My upcoming time consists of work work work with friends fit in, so if people are available, definitely text and whatnot as I miss you.

Saturday= Drums Alive with Jen and Amy (yay)
Sunday= roomie dinner/hanging out time

Good times all around, and man, I'm so hyper. (Oh, and I loved Watchmen.)

Latest song love..., just can't stop playing it way too many times. Fun group, I need to check them out more.

Won the WPGU Espresso Royale giveaway on Friday, and am now the proud owner of my own Espresso mug, a free drink card and someday, a bag of coffee beans. I say someday because sadly, the DJ working while I stopped by could not find me a bag of coffee beans *pout* so they're going to call me so I can stop by. I felt bad for the guy and thought about telling him not to worry about it... but I won it and it's exciting so if it isn't too much trouble for them, I'll just go back and get it at some point.

Another plug- check out Zyggy'z if you haven't already. It's in the old Basil Thai place (don't panic, they're still in Urbana) and this place is AMAZING. Absolutely loved the food and the service, and the prices are great. Go go go, particularly if you like spicy food.

Meanwhile, we all found a place to live next year. It will be me and four other wonderful people living in this home, provided all goes well and we figure out a time to get the leases signed and deposits paid :) I'm really looking forward to it, particularly having an animal around again, even if I'm not used to living with a dog.

Game is going well, and it's fun having a big covenant again. Nick is doing a great job and everyone seems to be having fun. I keep *hearing* that Greg is playing... but I still do not believe it... I mean, what could be more important than making game? :p My main current problem is that I need to use a new email address, because I'm tired of all the email notifications I'm getting on my new phone from the listserv and whatnot. Oh well.

Sushi club went very well last month, which was fantastic. I'm trying to figure out an event for my girls' club that I started, but it's hard to figure out something that everyone will like... and I don't want people to think I'm spamming them with invites to Irish music or whatnot on Tuesday and Wednesday nights, which are my normal free evenings.

I'm also really looking forward to Chuck's party at the end of this month... as well as having parties in my home again, when we move to the new place. It's not possible where I'm currently living, due to space issues and the fact that I wouldn't want to bug my roomies with it and I don't think they'd really enjoy it. But next year, next year will be fun :)

Yesterday was a very odd day. I slept in as much as I could, went to breakfast at OPH with Chuck, then drove to Bloomington for a "new managers' intro lunch" type of thing, where all the new hires for management staff for the past year had lunch at the Biaggi's. It counted as a half day, so after that, it was more work at Monical's. It was cool, just weird having the long drive followed by lunch followed by long drive followed by work... then I went to the White Horse for LARP wings and hung out with a bunch of folks, which was nice.

Already today I had lunch with Sarah and discussed her new job, which she seems very excited about (yay) and hung out with an employee for a bit, which was cool albeit weird.

Tonight looks like it will involve Torchwood and Dr. Who with friends, which should be a lot of fun, and tomorrow is going to be AMAZING, followed by awesome with more friends, the BSG boardgame and Watchmen movie at 12:01 AM. I wish that I didn't work at 9 AM Friday morning, but that's how these things go sometimes.

( blah blah blah )

In other news, I've been asked by a few people about when I go to the gym, because a few other people are also members to the Fitness Center. Short answer- extremely sporadically. I'm starting to try to make it twice a week... gotta continue this effort, because I want April to be three times a week.

This week= Thursday and Saturday. If people see times on my schedule that they feel they would be interested in making a gym time, please tell me, because company= really the only way that I go. I wanted to go yesterday, but I felt too ill. Shouldn't happen again for another month though ;) so hopefully gym trips will not be interfered with.

In completely unrelated and a bit more unhealthy news... I'm very intrigued to try this recipe....

And one more plug... I recently got to know a very talented artist (how do I know so many cool artists? I'm so lucky) who works with jewelry. I've been lusting after her necklaces for a while now, unable to figure out which one I want to get, but I think I might finally have decided. Check out her store if you're into local jewelry at all, I think she has a lot of beautiful stuff.

Haven't been super-excited by a book in a while, which sucks, as there's that feeling for transcendence when I find one... but I just finished Mona Lisa Overdrive, and man, it blew me away.

I tend to lump William Gibson in with Neal Stephenson, which isn't fair. Neal Stephenson has better feelings for me, because his worlds are easier for me to slip into. The Diamond Age is still one of my favorite worlds to explore, but then William Gibson does what Stephenson has continually proven unable to do- which is, to satisfy the reader at the end.

Mona Lisa Overdrive was just so fantastic. Yay.

Does anyone have any good, satisfying books to recommend? I'm in a sci-fi/fantasy kind of mood.

House hunting is continuing... whee.

Life is going fine.

Valentine's Day weekend consisted of SMOKING POPES CONCERT on Friday night which was pretty awesome. I felt a little silly using half of a vacation day for it, getting off work at 2 PM to make sure we had time to get in line, and then there being no line, but whatever. It went well and was a blast and I'm glad I had the time to relax.

So yeah, got off work at 2 PM on Friday, worked out, watched The Dollhouse, which I enjoyed, and had Chinese food, then went to the Smoking Popes show where we met up with Tom who was visiting from Lafayette for the show. Ran into Bethany at the Union, which was pretty awesome. The show went until about 12:30 so we got out, went to Crane Alley and met up with Mikolai (sp?) and then just crashed. It was so much fun... they were great performers and then chilling was a nice way to decompress. I'm seriously blanking on what I did on Saturday, which makes me feel sheepish but *shrug* and then work, then yesterday was Silvercreek brunch, which was the first time I went to that (and it was awesome) followed by Coraline, which I enjoyed. I thought it was a pretty good translation of the book.

Otherwise, just work and hanging out with friends.

( blah blah blah )

We'll see what happens, I guess.

I was apparently right to be pessimistic about P-land's continuing education program. Le sigh.

It's cool, though. I'm doing fine.

I made it out to the gym this morning, which was a struggle. Man, do I hate exercising. Really, really, really despise it. Hate it. Whine whine whine.

The weather has been blowing my mind. I love fall, but early spring? Not a bad time. No, I know this isn't early spring, but it has that feel and gets people in the same kind of chill/expectant mood, which is nice. We'll have some more cold, but I'm enjoying the brief respite (as much as I love winter.)

I painted my nails green today... I get to enjoy that for another day and a half before it has to come off for work. I got to chill with Chuck all day, going to a coffee shop after gym, then went over to Prospect with Rob, got a new phone (um, lost all my old numbers so... if people felt like texting me to say hi, that'd be cool), and then had Flat Top Grill with him and Sarah. After that, moving on to Rob's place, we enjoyed a pretty decent flick, which I think had a better time travel premise than a few annoying other movies I've seen, and now I am ending the night at Espresso Royale. Did people know that Bar Guiliani closed? I was unaware until just now.

Tomorrow= getting my oil changed and my car checkup, maybe dying my hair again, getting bill stuff sorted out, calling Verizon to make sure that my plan covers stuff so I don't get screwed with the bill.

Then relaxing with awesome folks and Irish music, followed potentially by "He's Just Not That Into You" at the Savoy. Whee.

Work work work. Life life life.

I'm working tonight during the Superbowl. I wonder if it will be busy. *hopes*

Made it out to LARP on Friday, which was nifty. Missing the next one, due to SMOKING POPES CONCERT which I am SOOOO excited about. February 13th show at the Courtyard Cafe. Eeeee.

I feel like I should have something more to say. I've been hanging out with a lot of people, which is nice. Today was dim sum with a bunch of Chuckfolks. They hadn't had it at Saigon before, so it was nice to intro them to it.

Yesterday, I got to see Phil for a minute, which was nifty, as he stopped by with a cute girl. Hopefully food was good for them :p Wish I had been able to talk more. Sad I had to miss the SCA event, but hopefully everyone had a good time that was able to go...

Been spending a ton of time looking for places to live next year. Preferably, 4 bedroom/2 bathroom, less than $1200. We'll see how that search goes.

My dad keeps pushing for me to move back up to Chicagoland. That's not going to happen, but I have to admit it gets tempting sometimes... not having to work at a pizza place, not having to pay bills, it's neat. But you know what? I need to stand on my own. I know this, and I'm doing it okay.

Life's going pretty well. I've been listening to the Snow Patrol cd a lot, hanging with peeps... man, I am so freakin' boring.

Things to do:

go to gym on Tuesday and Thursday
walk dogs on Wednesday
get bills/cards mailed out on Tuesday that I keep putting off, stupidly
going to V-day benefit show on Friday, after work *hope* anyone else going?
going to P-land to see if there's a point to taking any classes there. We'll see. I'm feel fairly pessimistic about it.

find people to play cards with. I really miss it.

There's been a lot of status updates about today (go go Facebook) but not many posts. I'm kind of surprised.

I was at the Esquire with Chuck on Sunday, getting dinner before going to The Great Cover Up (which, incidentally, is what I'm doing tonight, sans Chuck), and we got into a pretty spirited discussion about politics. It got him pretty heated up, and by the end, I finally admitted that I felt cynical about the whole thing. A president won't change a lot. One person does not a movement make, and one repair won't fix everything.

Spending today watching the inauguration, however, all I could think about was how, while I believe what I said on Sunday, there is a need for hope. The hope and the passion people are feeling tonight isn't for Obama, it's for thinking that they're a part of this process, that they have some say over what they are and aren't allowed to do.

I thought the speech was pretty amazing and heartfelt, and I admit to crying during it, as it turns out I'm a big sap when it comes to idealism. I don't think Obama will change the world, and I don't think he'll fix this mess, but I think that the idea of change is an inspiring one, and that once more, a lot of people are believing in something bigger than themselves.

Nationalism and patriotism aren't bad things, folks, it's just that they aren't tools to use for one party. It's good to feel proud of your country and it's great to be happy to say that you're American. It's sad that it's become a divisive term used for party propaganda (on both sides, as one makes it into a racist/divisive word and the other makes it into a loyalty test) and I hope we can reclaim those words as a nation, as we again realize we aren't so different after all. We're just folks on this journey trying to make something home and to take care of our loved ones.

I'm happy today. I hope this is a turning point not as a nation looking to its leader, but as a nation reevaluating what parts we all can play to better our own lives (and thus, our fellow citizens.)

Don't really even know why.
Bring me the words that I need,
Won't you please be my telephone?

It finally hit me why Paramore seems so familiar. Element 101 reminds me a lot of them. One thing to thank Jason for, anyway.

I dropped my laptop on my foot yesterday :( Poor foot. I can walk on it, so I think it's fine, but it's all pain when I tense or particularly move that section. Sigh.


Big things coming up:

next Friday (23)= going to Kankakee for speeding ticket. Sigh.

next Saturday (24)= DANIELLE VISITING!!! I think I'm going to ask off work that day. Eeeee. Given that I have crazy hours this weekend (11- close on Saturday, really? Then opening at nine the next morning?) and can't see Terra and folks that I would like to, I kinda think work owes me.

Friday (30)= going back to LARP, hopefully. It's been forever, but I think I can go that night AND hopefully continue to go.

Saturday (31)= Maidens. Won't be able to make it. Sad.

February:

February 16 (Monday)= Lord of the Dance at Assembly Hall
February 17 (Tuesday)= Jason Mraz at Northern Illinois University
February 21 (Saturday)= Smoking Popes at Cubby Something (sigh)

I can't particularly afford Lord of the Dance (insert sad panda) and I'd be much more into J Mraz at Northern, so looks like I might skip it. Grrrrrr. I just dunno about driving all the way up to Chicago either for that Saturday (in a Cubs venue... argh). Hmm...

March:
March 7 (Saturday)= My favorite orchestra (Sinfonia da Camera) at U of I is playing a few pieces I really like, as well as one I haven't heard (which makes sense given that it's the world premiere) which is based on a work by an amazing author (local, actually), so that's pretty nifty... I think I really want to go to that. I haven't been to one this year, yet, which sucks.

So much to think about. So much to do.

Work work work.

Sleep sleep sleep.

Good news: I had an amazing night yesterday, where I got to spend time with friends and just be silly.

Bad news: Still full of the moodswing between paranoia and loneliness. Ah well.



At least I'm working so much this upcoming week that I won't have much time to think. Still off Tuesday and Wednesday, same as usual.
Panicking about next year, feeling cynical about people and supposed offerings of friendship. Maybe I just have different definitions, maybe I expect too much from people (and don't give nearly enough back of what people expect.)

Need: Snow Patrol and Lily Allen cds. I keep listening to songs on repeat.

Life= overall, good. Just feeling random. This week= spent on self-projects and a search for pleasing aesthetics.

These pancakes, are by far, the yummiest I've made.

( Oatmeal Pancakes, from Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone )